Who is That in the Mirror?

Have you ever walked by a mirror, then stopped because the reflection you saw was not what you were expecting?
Now, I am not talking about a bad hair day, or one of those, dang girl, you look good,’ moments. I am talking about the moment where you stop…and stare… because you genuinely do not recognize the person looking back at you.

Obviously, as we grow older and the years pass by, our physical features change. That is part of becoming the man or woman that God intended us to be. However, we all know that life throws some curveballs at us that just tests our limits and changes who we are.

Divorce
Breakup
Career change
Loss of someone close
Moving somewhere new
Pregnancy
Marriage

Major life shifts like these have a quiet way of unraveling the identity you once felt so sure about.

In a matter of three years, my entire life shifted.

I walked away from a career I started when I was seventeen - a career I truly believed I would retire from one day. I got engaged to the man I thought was the love of my life…but he left five months before our wedding.

I won’t air dirty laundry or talk ill about anyone that has crossed my path in life because I truly believe everyone enters our lives for a reason, season, blessing, or lesson. But, the truth is, he broken my heart. Not just a little crack…the kind of heartbreak that shatters something deep inside of you.

The identity that I had been building for my entire 30 years of life was suddenly gone. Just poof.

It took nearly a year before I realized something needed to change. I had to look myself in the mirror and admit that the life I thought I was building no longer existed. That identity was gone, and it was time to rebuild. It was time to become the person God actually created me to be.

Over the next few years I really struggled. In fact, they were some of the hardest I have ever had to walk through. But I made the decision to be intentional about healing. I learned something important during that time: I needed to feel my emotions…but I could not live in the forever…So I started doing the work.

I took classes
Read personal development books - A lot!
Journaled
Spoke to a therapist
I leaned heavily into my faith
And eventually, I rededicated my life to God

Ironically, I was washed and made new, on one of the hardest days I had to face. The date that represented the day we were supposed to say, I Do.’ Full circle a year later, I gave myself back to God instead. And that decision changed everything. My life became about ME again and not what I had lost.

Healing is a strange thing. Healing doesn’t happen all at once, it happens slowly, quietly, and in moments you don’t always notice right away. I still have days that feel heavy. Memories flood in, I avoid certain places, and I have self doubt. One day you realize the memories don’t hurt as much, your laughter comes back, and you wake up one morning with the weight that you have been carrying feeling lighter.

Eventually, you will walk by that same mirror again. But this time, you stop…stare…and you aren’t confused anymore. You recognize the person staring back at you.

I smiled when I saw her.
She was not my final version, because God isn’t finished with my story.
She is stronger than the woman that once stood there.
She is more resilient. She is more grounded in who God created her to be. And she isn’t pretending the past didn’t happen… she is allowing it to help shape who she is becoming.

You didn’t lose yourself. You are being rebuilt. You are still becoming…