A Permanent Reminder
Do you ever just need a reminder of how strong you really are? Of how much space you are allowed to take up in this world?
I’m about to open my deepest wound with you, so be gentle.
After my split, I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.
I allowed one man to dictate my worth and value in ways I didn’t even realize at the time.
I convinced myself that if he couldn’t choose me… then no one would.
But that wasn’t true.
People choose me every single day
I choose myself every single day
And most importantly — God chooses me every single day
For a long time, I sat in a very dark place. I wasn’t myself and lived in my emotions longer than I should have. I truly believed he would come back, and that all I needed to do was be patient. He did come back… but only when it was convenient for him and if I’m being honest, I allowed that cycle to reoccur more than once.
Until one day I realized choosing myself meant losing him for good.
He wasn’t just a chapter in my story — he was six.
But those chapters are now closed.
During my healing, people would ask what happened. I always felt like I needed to explain my side, justify the pain, make sense of the ending. But the truth is, sometimes there isn’t a clean explanation.
Life happens
People grow apart
Paths separate
What hurt the most wasn’t just losing him, it was questioning my worth. I wrestled with the thought of how I could be “good enough” to be proposed to… but not “good enough” to be committed to in the end.
People would try to comfort me by saying, “At least it happened before the wedding.” And logically, I understand that.
But emotionally? Part of me would have rather been chosen — even for a season — than feel completely discarded before it ever began. That kind of rejection stays with you.
For years, I quietly carried the belief that I just wasn’t enough. Until one day… something shifted.
I realized I wasn’t rejected because I lacked value. I was redirected because our story had an expiration date and I would have sat in that chapter until the very end. God knew better and had to turn the page for me.
God closed those chapters because our lessons had been learned.
He came into my life to teach me how to open my heart — but also to teach me what I will and will not accept in love. He showed me the importance of boundaries, self-respect, and emotional safety. And I came into his life to show him what deep, unconditional love looks like and that even though you grew up a certain way, and things happened in your parents marriage… you can break that cycle. You are not them.
Sometimes we are stepping stones in each other’s growth. That doesn’t make the love less real, it just means the season had an ending.
On my left hand, just beneath my ring finger, I have the word “Enough” tattooed. A simple reminder I carry with me every day.
It symbolizes that even though my engagement ended, my worth did not.
It reminds me that I am already whole, chosen, and enough.
And one day, that same finger will wear a ring again — not to complete me, but to represent a love that is aligned, mutual, and meant to last. A love where I am not questioned…but fully chosen. Even if that love I desire takes years, or potentially does not happen in this life time, I know that I am enough. The people in my daily life shows me that. They make me feel seen, chosen, and valued.
God made me. He placed me here in this lifetime, this journey, and it is playing out just the way he had intended. He did not create me or you to live a life to feel empty. He created us for a purpose and I can tell you that there is more to experience in life than sorrow from a person who fumbled you.
There is still time, God’s time.
You are not behind
You are Enough
You are loved
Have Grace in the Gap
