Closing the Gap
Healing is not linear.
Some days you will feel strong, motivated, and full of hope. Other days, old memories will sneak in and remind you of the life you once thought you were building. Healing happens in the small, quiet choices you make every single day. The days you show up when you don’t feel like it. The days you choose growth over comfort. The days you give yourself grace instead of criticism.
Some days will feel heavy. Others will feel light. And most days, fall somewhere in between - on autopilot. But every day and every step forward, no matter how small, matters. You are in a season of rebuilding, so be patient with yourself. You are not behind. You are not broken beyond repair. You are becoming.
My healing is going on four years now, and I still have a mixture of good and bad days. Memories will creep in every so often. Envy and sadness sometimes consume me. So I wanted to talk through what has helped me throughout my years of healing.
Now, healing looks different for everyone. These are just little additions to my life I incorporated to help me move through the chaos and rebuild my life so I didn’t just sit in my emotions and waste away. These helped me grow and develop, to better myself for my next relationship and for the relationship within myself.
Consistency in the gym - I have always been a gym girly. I use to compete in national competitions, but I needed to find a good balance. The last show I did in 2021, my ex and I were still together and that was a way for me to run from reality and focus on something other than our relationship that was crumbling in my hands. To move forward, I wanted to build a consistent routine that showcased a good balance of being healthy in the gym, but also healthy in the mind. I didn’t want to just live in the gym to escape reality.
Personal development readings - This was a big one for me because I was not a reader. When I started, it took me months to read one book, but then I connected the topics that peaked my interested and now I am up to 1-2 books per month.
Top reads for me:
The 5 Love Languages - This is a book I will swear by. I truly believe everyone needs to understand their love language, their partners love language, and how to show up in both.
Relationship Goals - I could not put this one down. It shows you how to build a healthy relationship and lasting love.
Present Over Perfect - I have read and re-read this one - I always come back to it. It talks about Grace - enough said (wink).
My Bible - I am going to be honest with you, I don’t pick this up as much as I should. Reading the Bible is hard for me, but when I do open it, it ALWAYS speaks to me and shows me exactly what I needed to see.
Formed new habits -
Running - I love the runners aesthetic, especially since I was a lifter for years. Great way to get out of your head and move your body
Writing - Hi, hello, glad you are here
Dancing - This girl loves to two-step. What more do you need in life than country music, friends, laughter, and a cute pair of boots
Cooking - Branching out from my typical meal prepped food. Food is intimidating for me, so this has helped get me out of my comfort zone…just a little
Networking - For work, I am involved in a Business Women’s group and it has been very rewarding. I have experienced things I don’t think I would have had the opportunity to do without this group. I have met amazing women that are now a huge part of my life - a sister hood.
Travel - Now most of my travel is for work, but I have never been a traveler, so I will take it. Check it off as a win for me. The places I get to visit have given me a full heart because I get to meet new people, see new places, and experience new things… all because the work I do. As I have said countless of times before - I am a career woman. I bury myself in my work and to be able to look back and reflect on everything that has come to fruition makes me smile.
Church - I stepped away from my faith when my split first happened. I could not believe God would allow something so devastating to happen to me, but after some time passed and I reflected on the event, I understood He had to allow it because I would have not walked away. He truly had to break my heart and rip away the life I built with this man to shake me, and wake me up to see I was not in a place where I should be. When I stepped back into the church, I felt relief. I felt peace and calmness. I remember walking up to the alter, shaking, hugging my prayer partner and just laying it all out there - leaving it at the alter. I was called that day to just release the pain and give it all to Him. I haven’t looked back since.
This last one is a little unconventional, but I rescued a pup. I lost my soul dog Beemer in 2024. I had him since he was 5 weeks old and he fit in the palm of my hand. He was with me through college, moving two states, my engagement, my split, and a medical emergency. When I lost him I did not plan on getting a new dog any time soon, but I should have known that God had another plan for me and he knew my heart needed that hole to be filled. One day as I was driving to work, Mr Finn walked across the road right in front of my Jeep. He was matted, stinky, and underneath all of that…skin and bones. He ran straight to me and we have been attached at the hips since. He has brought so much joy and liveliness into my life that without him, it would have been silent. He gives me purpose and strength every day. He makes me laugh and gives me that urge ( I know you know this one) the urge that you just want to squeeze the heck out of them because they are just too dang cute! I have realized though that when I pray to God for a man obsessed with me… I need to be more specific on species. I was praying for a (human) man, but a received the most loyal and loving boy dog. God’s got jokes.
Again, these are all things that have helped me in my healing journey. I am not telling you to go out and adopt all the animals, but I do support that idea! However, little daily additions will build up a lifetime of happiness. Focus on yourself during this time. Build your mind, your body, and self-love. God wants you to look inside and love yourself before introducing you to your life partner. You cannot truly love and show up for someone else if you do not love and show up for yourself first.
Little by little, the choices you make are rebuilding your life. One day, you will look around and realize you didn’t just survive your heartbreak, your grew through it. You will start to feel more like yourself again.
Stronger
Wiser
Grounded
‘Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning.’ (Book of Lamentations 3:22-23).
Daily Habits. Small Steps. Healing over time.
Grace in the Gap
